Sept 23rd, 2011 痛苦的决定

逍遥客

9月23日

痛苦的决定

过去的这几天是此行最痛苦的几天。

我前面提到本登山季节的气候条件不很理想。由于缺乏有利于化雪、冻冰的交替冷热周期，山上的雪一直没有很好地凝聚。9月18日的地震可能松动了不少岩石，增加了路线上攀岩段的危险性。

但这些仅仅是借口而已。最大的问题出在我们团队或组织内部。这次登山活动其实是个很复杂的大项目，不是个单纯的登山活动，涉及到很多方面的组织和人员，而各方面的利益、愿望、目标并不是完全一致的，有时甚至是冲突的。在过去的一年中大家都投入了很多的心血和努力。经过多日激烈的讨论、权衡各种解决方法，最后的结果非常的戏剧化 -- 我放弃希夏邦马。（本来我们在当时高度压力下还有另一半更戏剧性的决定，幸亏后来基金会及时干预，防止了更糟糕的危机的发生，我就不再提了）

生命中的很多决定是很难做的。这也不是我第一次在登山过程中子弹未出膛就撤兵。爬阿空加瓜时，我连续两年都因为条件不成熟而半路折返。2008年二月，我过去曾经历过的最痛苦的日子，本来曾计划那年春天去爬珠峰，而且已经付出了很大的代价，但当时极为痛苦地想清楚了放弃是最明智的选择。

如今，希夏邦马，在过去的一年里为之牺牲许多重要的事情全力以赴准备，为之忍受了而且情愿继续忍受很多痛苦。然而，我明白，放弃是此时唯一正确的决定。对于这样一个复杂的攀登项目，自然条件只是一方面的因素。更重要的是每一个参与者内心的状态要与自然和谐，即所谓天时地利人和也。我坚信，对于这样一座神圣的山，攀登者应当怀着对万事万物无比尊重的心态，内心关注的不应该只有自己的渴望。

Sept 23rd, 2011

Painful Decision

The past few days have been the most painful few days on this trip.

As I mentioned before that the condition on Shisha this season is not ideal. The snow has not consolidated well because of the lack of thawing and consolidating cycles. Earthquake on Sept 18th may have created more risk for the rocky section of the route by dislodging some rocks.

But all these are just some lame excuses. The biggest problem is inside the team o the organization. This trip is actually a very complicated project, more than just a simple climbing trip. There’re many different parties involved in the whole project and there’re conflict interests, ambitions and goals between parties. Everyone involved has put in a lot of energy and emotion during the past year. After several days of intense and very emotional debate and evaluating all the options, the dramatic final decision was that I gave up ShishaPangma (There was an even more dramatic second half of the decision reached under the drastic pressure, since with the timely intervention from the Foundation, we effectively prevented more crisis in the end, I will not bother to mention it anymore).

Many decisions in life are not easy. This is not the first time I turned around without even making a summit attempt. On Aconcagua, I turned back twice when overall condition was not in favor. Feb 2008 had been one of the most painful days in my life when I decided to give up Everest trip that originally was planned for that spring when I realized that would be the right decision despite all the effort had been put in.

Again, for ShishaPangma, I sacrificed many high priority agendas and gave it all-in effort during the past year. I have endured and was ready to endure so much just for it. But after all, I think giving up is the right decision. For such a complicated project, natural condition is only one factor. It’s more important is the harmonious internal state of everyone involved. I believe one should approach such sacred mountain with uttermost respect for everything and don’t let personal ambition take over all your heart.

天晴朗

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